Mary

Mary... six years with us... and now this...  

All because of a missing M$200...

My heart says She is innocent.

My head says There is no way she is. The one straight line leads to her.

Heartbreak.

I was heartbroken for 10 days. 10 days of feeling extremely tired. Could hardly eat a thing.

In many ways, Mary stepped into the role that my mother left when she died. Mary loved being with us, the house was filled with her love. The house was clean, orderly; she cooked, washed and ironed for us. She went to the market, ensured our physical needs were met. She was our nurturer.

In turn, she had the master bedroom (my brother & I were very comfortable in our own rooms & felt no need to change), was free to put whatever she wanted into it; It had multiple handphones, bundles of clothes, shoes, purses. She was a hoarder, like my mother. Every few months, she sent a box of clothes and other stuff home. Even as she worked here, she also nurtured her family.

But, there was a subtle change in her behaviour. She became more & more acquisitive. She hoarded more and more things. She wanted everything. Sometimes she just assumed certain things were hers. It was like the spirit of greed had taken hold of her.

And then, one fateful day, 5 Dec, I left my ringgit on my bedside table after counting it -- something I never do is to leave my purse exposed. But I did it that day, feeling the spirit of God leading me to do so and I also had a sense of complacency that it would be fine. Little did I know...

In Johor Bahru, at the end of the shopping day where I paid by credit cards, I decided to pay by cash. I was stunned there was so little ringgit left. After examining all the possibilities, there could be only one conclusion.

During a practical ministry session yesterday, we were to discern by the Spirit of God the fiery darts that were lodged in us. My partner saw a “box” around my head, and a metal shaft through my heart. By faith, she removed both. I went to a Christmas party, feeling like a zombie. There was barely any energy.

This morning, my energy returned. My wound healed. At breakfast, Mary announced that she would resign. The cutting off of the tie between us restored my energy, I believe.

In two days, she goes. She was a part of our lives for six years. We will miss her, buzzing around, doing the housework. She was a good worker. We will miss her love & care for us...All because of a missing M$200, our lives change.

Receiving healing

Thinking over what I've written yesterday, I'm reminded of an incident years ago, when as a young Christian, it was prophesied that I had the gift of healing.

I can still remember the day when another person, who'd also had the reputation for having the gift of healing, wasn't too comfortable with having some "competition." Fixing her eyes on me, she demanded that I pray for  her ankle, which she'd sprained sometime before. Not knowing any better, and thinking it's probably no harm to pray, I prayed something simple. Nothing happened, of course.

God doesn't respond to prideful, demanding people who try to make His servants, theirs. 

Subsequently, I've prayed occasionally for others -- backs have healed, infected ears have healed. 

I just let God do what He wants to do, whenever. He is my Prince of Peace. 

Sealed with gratitude

After having lived for more than half a century, I guess I can draw some conclusions from my observations of life and people.

What I have noticed is that grateful people are more blessed than those who have an attitude of entitlement. Grateful people, I've noticed, receive more from the Lord; they are happier, healthier, wealthier, and more successful than those who don't seem to think they should thank anyone for anything. Grateful people have a lot more friends. When they pursue God, they receive blessing upon blessing; breakthrough upon breakthrough.

Every blessing they receive, they keep. What is their secret?

It's an attitude of gratitude -- to God, who blesses them, and to the person whom God uses to bless them. Gratitude acts as a spiritual seal that keeps the blessing intact.

Those with an attitude of entitlement use people for what they can induce out of them. They can be charming, persuasive, entertaining, professing friendship. Once their goal is achieved, they disappear.

But they struggle in life. They may work hard, but their sweat and toil produce weeds. They receive the promise of blessings, but the promises disappear like snowflakes in the sun. Money comes -- and goes just as quickly. They change friends as quickly as they change clothes. They demand "more, more, more" -- for what you give is never enough, and it feels like you're pouring your strength into a black hole. Nothing comes back, and you feel weak, drained and used.

But, God is good. He has made provision in His word. He has said, in Matthew 10:13-14, that if you give your blessing of peace, and the people are unworthy, let your peace return to you. In other words, you can call back your blessing. Every spiritual blessing you've blessed another with in prayer -- including peace, rest, love, joy, provision -- and which is not received with gratitude, you can call back.

Anyone who asks you for prayer is actually asking for your strength. When you give your strength, and you're taken for granted, you may feel empty and used. In fact, soft-hearted and compassionate intercessors are often victimised this way. "You're an intercessor right? so it's your duty to intercede for me! Why should I thank you? You're only doing your job!" Subtly, the person who demands prayer takes the place of God, who is the sole authority to decide whom should be prayed for by you. After all, He knows who the intercessors are, and He is the one who distributes the prayer assignments.

If you have been used by those with an attitude of entitlement, do Matthew 10. Call back your blessings. Do it. And your strength will return to you; your empty soul will be full again, to overflowing. Your joy will return. Your courage, dignity and self-respect will come back. Blessing upon blessing! Even as you've given, you'll receive and more beside!

God is good. He knows that His workers are like guileless sheep, and will be used and abused by others, whether knowingly or unknowingly. He has made provision in His word to ensure we remain full, even to overflowing, continuing to do His work with joy.

God is really, really good.